Governor Perdue’s Parole Commissioner Tony Rand’s got plenty of troubles: He’s being investigated by the FBI and the Securities and Exchange Commission (and, maybe worst of all for a politician, an investigative reporter from the News and Observer) for what looks like a scheme he cooked up to have the state buy police equipment from his company so he could turn 140,000 shares of penny stock into a goldmine.
But Rand’s nothing if not innovative – so he’s come up with a solution to clear himself. It works like this: First, he announces his company is doing its own ‘independent’ investigation; then he picks one of his cronies, former DOT Chief Lyndo Tippett (who also owns penny stock) to head the investigation; then Lyndo announces to the press – without missing a beat – his ‘independent’ audit is done and proves beyond a shadow of a doubt Tony’s innocent.
Well, next the tough-edged investigative reporter – who’s nobody’s idea of a babe in the woods – calls Tony and asks how on earth he figures his buddy saying he’s innocent proves anything and, without missing a beat, Tony rears back and says Lyndo Tippett’s (whose department bought about $100,000 in products from Rand’s company while Tippett owned 40,000 shares in penny stock) integrity is beyond question.
Overall it looks like Tony may have had a little larceny in his heart when it came to those penny stocks but you have to give him credit he ‘ain’t afraid of nothing’ and if sheer brass will get him off the hook – he’s home free.