View Article
29

 

We’ve about reached the point in the campaign where humor is in short supply – so here’s a video of Boston Legal’s Denny Crane being mugged that floated in over the transom from out in cyberspace.

 

 

Here’s a link. Email it to a friend.

 

Former House Speaker Richard Morgan’s book, The Fourth Witch: A Memoir of Politics and Sinning, has the same virtue as William Shatner’s video: Humor. No one gets shot by a gun-toting Boston lawyer but there are plenty of other good stories straight out of North Carolina politics. Here’s a sample:

 

PROLOGUE

Politics and Sinning

 

Most times, when a fellow runs for office and you ask him, Why, he’ll take a deep breath and give you a high-sounding reason – like he’s going to stop the ice caps melting, save family values, or single-handedly end poverty.

But I can tell you – first hand – most politicians have earthier goals: Like greed, vanity or ambition.

A few years ago we elected a farmer to the United States Senate. When hog prices dropped he sponsored a bill to subsidize trade with the Russians – to sell them more hogs.

The biggest Bible thumper I served with in the House – a hard-shell fundamentalist who taught at The Gospel Light Christian School – took a fifty-thousand-dollar bribe to vote with the same Democrats who’d killed every bill he’d introduced to ban abortion.

Another legislator owned a multi-million dollar beer and wine distributorship and saw nothing wrong with serving on the House Committee that regulates alcohol.

Another legislator managed a successful architectural firm that received ten million dollars in unbid state contracts.

Once, when I was Speaker, leaving the House Chamber I came face to face with an old man, a county commissioner wearing khakis, a denim shirt and a thick-soled pair of boots.

I stopped, nodded and asked, ‘So, tell me, how did you get into politics?’

            He scratched his head then grinned. ‘Well, that was simple – like most young people I was interested in sinning.’

‘You learn much?’

‘Probably not as much as you.’

He smacked his lips. ‘You know ole Jim Hunt?’

After Governor Hunt was elected the third time Republicans and Democrats in the House had a knock-down, drag-out fight over the budget and one spring night, dead set on breaking the deadlock, Hunt walked out of the Governor’s Mansion, trekked down the block to the condominium I shared with House Speaker Harold Brubaker and strolled through the door carrying a six-pack of hard full-sugar Pepsi under his arm.

A Republican couldn’t be too careful when dealing with Governor Hunt. One moment he’d be all charm and the next, as soon as you let your guard down, he’d pounce and before you could stop your lips from moving out of a spirit of comity and good will you’d agree to vote for a bill you hadn’t seen yourself supporting in a thousand years.

What stopped Hunt dead in his tracks that night was one of those new vibrating recliner chairs from Sharper Image my wife had given me after I won my first election. Hunt settled all the way back in that chair and it started to hum and he grinned, ‘Mighty fine,’ and any orneriness he felt flew right out the window.

We put steaks on the grill and passed the next three and a half hours without a harsh word as Hunt drank that whole six-pack of hard Pepsi.

Ten years later, looking back at the old county commissioner, I said carefully, ‘Yes sir. I knew Governor Hunt.’

‘That boy give you a hard time?’

I remembered the first morning Hunt called and woke me out of a sound sleep just after the crack of dawn to talk about a bill.

‘He tended to burn the midnight oil and forget normal folks sleep at night.’

He grunted. ‘That boy always did have a red-hot passion for politics.’

‘There I’d have to say you’re wrong.’

The ridges in the old man’s face hardened. ‘I reckon you figure you got a better explanation?’

‘I’d say the reason for that passion was pure sugar.’

 

The Fourth Witch can be purchased here.



Click Here to discuss and comment on this and other articles.

Actions: E-mail | Permalink | Comments (5) RSS comment feed |

Comments

vva
# vva
Wednesday, May 19, 2010 1:56 AM

I am selling my personal pair of louis vuitton evidence. These are amazing sunglasses, but the fit is a little bit off for me. But, It is a well known fact that balenciaga handbags are adored by celebrities across the globe. If you are interested in gucci handbags, shoes, purses, wallets and other collection. Our outlet store online offer you the cheap replica gucci sales.

chanel
Friday, May 21, 2010 2:17 AM


The latest collections of Cheap Chanel Handbags come in a variety of novel shapes, bright colors, showy embellishments and exotic fabrics. In addition to the stylishness they add to the wearer, these Cheap Chanel bag allow modern women to carry her whole world with her. They are designed not only to compliment women’s apparel, but also to carry every necessary item they need when stepping out. Designers always try best ways to make handbags practical without compromising women’s elegance. In the series of 2010 BAG, we see abundant options to choose from. Inside these handbags, particular sections are perfectly designed for particular items like cell phones, iPod, makeup, credit cards, notebooks, pens and keys. And the best thing is, thanks to the thoughtful and creative design, these “multifunctional” handbags do not look overstuffed even when carrying many items. In 2009, a stylish Cheap Chanel is both fashionable and has a smart design.
lehua777
# lehua777
Saturday, July 10, 2010 2:31 AM
This is an interesting one, Replica Watches, Swiss Replica Watches, Hublot Watches, Hugo Boss Watches, IWC Watches, Jacob&Co Watches, Jaeger-LeCoultre Watches, As you know we are sworn to secrecy of anything that we are told about before Basel. Jaquet Droz Watches, Longines Watches, Louis Vuitton Watches, Maurice Lacroix Watches, Montblanc Watches, Movado Watches, Omega Watches, Oris Watches, We get told a little bit but we are always surprised when Basel rocks around about what else is released. Panerai Watches, Parmigiani Watches, Patek Philippe Watches, Paul Picot Watches, Philip Stein Watches, On this occasion the brand has released a limited series diver’s watch. Piaget Watches, Porsche Design Watches, Rado Watches, Raymond Weil Watches, Richard Mille Watches, Roger Dubuis Watches, Romain Jerome Watches, Sinn Watches, The watch is framed by a unidirectional rotating bezel equipped with a minute scale. Tag Heuer Watches, Tissot Watches, Tudor Watches, U-Boat Watches, VUlysse Nardin Watches, Vacheron Constantin Watches, VZenith Watches, When the summer months come, so does gift-giving time.
jia
# jia
Wednesday, July 28, 2010 6:13 AM
ginal Burberry replica Bvlgari on sale handbags, which cost them replica Links of London sale a lot. The Rolex cheap Bvlgari Pendant on sale Yachtmaster replica watch has fake designer jewelry at its heart a designer jewelry cheap sale genuine Swiss ETA that cheap designer jewelry creates a dependable hacking cheap designer jewelry mechanism. The Swiss 25 designer jewelry Jewel ETA automatic movement Christian Dior Earrings sale is identical to movement designer jewelry for sale found in genuine Rolex watches. It also comprises of a smooth sweep
Anonymous User
# Anonymous User
Saturday, December 21, 2013 6:04 AM
http://gconverter.org/demo/4/1000/?p=1306

Post Comment

Only registered users may post comments.
Copyright (c) Talking About Politics   :  DNN Hosting  :  Terms Of Use  :  Privacy Statement